When is “enough” really enough?

Do you remember when it happened?  I don’t.  It was somewhere between 8 years old and 22 years old, I think.  It’s that moment or series of experiences that have you believing that you are not enough. 

Not pretty enough.  Not smart enough.  Or just simply – not enough. 

Maybe someone had a very concrete idea of what right and wrong looked like and if you didn’t fit into their definitions, you weren’t good enough. 

Those are the voices in your head that follow you for a lifetime.  Even if you manage to rise above, they sneak in during important events or relationships and eat away at your confidence and self-worth. 

If you are in a situation right now where someone uses those words – you’re not enough – against you, I want you to know that they are wrong.  The measuring tape they are using is all screwed up. 

If you struggle with that ghost voice from your past that has taken up permanent residence in your mind and menacingly whispers the same – you’re not enough – I want you to know that you don’t have to live your life in the shadow of ghosts.

If you really can’t put a finger on it, but you can feel the weight of those words – you’re not enough – on your shoulders and in your gut when you read them, I want you to know that everyone in this world is broken.  Their definitions of good and bad, right and wrong, enough and falling short are also broken.

The thing is, being “enough” indicates that a need or desire has been fulfilled.  Like having enough chocolate chip cookies to satisfy your sweet tooth.  Or spending enough quality time with a loved one to feel seen and heard.    

In both of these, the determination of what is enough depends on the person speaking.  The definition of enough is subjective.  Ultimately, our personal definition of enough is established by our own measure.  And I would argue that can be the hardest definition to change.

Regardless of where you are – you are enough. 

How do I know?  Because you get up every day and make things happen for others and, hopefully, for yourself.  Because you have survived and endured personal events that would crush the individual standing in the next room.  Because you are a unique, glorious soul with a definite purpose in this world.  There has never been another You. 

How can anyone say you are not enough – you do not fit into a standardized measure that someone else created. 

You are you.  The one and only.  And you are enough. 

Sixty-Second Self-Care Tip

It takes time to change those voices in your head.  The best way to start?  Write “I am enough” on a couple notecards or sticky notes and put them in places that you will see them regularly – on the bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator, in your car.  You know the best places.  When you see your cue card, read them out loud - quietly or as loudly as you want!  Just make sure your ears can hear you.  That’s it.  One second.  One statement.  And you're redefining "enough"! 


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enough, self-care


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