Have you ever noticed how much shaming there is these days - you don't look right, don't weigh the right amount, don't eat or drink the right things, don't take the right supplements. And if you don't do those things, surely it's because you don't care about your health.
You and I know that's all a bunch of nonsense.
But it becomes a real challenge to not only figure out your own food sensitivity puzzle but also to deal with those judgments, especially when they come from people close or important to you.
Let's agree that food shaming and health shaming have nothing to do with actual, true healing. Every healing journey looks different; to expect that a single protocol or plan is going to help everyone feel amazing and solve every most troublesome symptom (like weight or anxiety or insomnia) is just unreasonable!
But we're all trying to follow the rules. Most of us just want to feel better and to dodge the shame game. Most of the rules in the food allergy/food sensitivity world look like formal diet plans. It's more "eat this, not that" and all you've ever desired for your health will come true.
Actually, more rules - even food rules - only create more shame, more frustration and more hopelessness. You lose faith in your body and trust in the food. Even if you start out strong on gluten-free, dairy-free and lower-histamine (which I do recommend to a lot of folks), none of us can maintain that forever.
(And is there really any reason why you have to avoid a food forever? True food allergies are the exception here…)
When we take the rules out of the picture, there is no way or reason to say you're doing it right or wrong. That framework is completely gone! There is nothing but freedom to learn what works for you! I hope that makes sense.
Quick example - in the US we have posted speed limits on all our highways. In Germany, the majority of the Autobahn (their highway system) has no speed limit. If you're driving 88mph in Germany, no one thinks much of it. If you do the same on a US highway where the posted speed is 55mph, you're potentially going to get some attention…and a ticket. You broke the rule.
Where there are no rules, there is inherent grace to try, learn and use what serves you the best - talking about food again!
I hear some folks saying if you take the rules away, people are just going to go crazy and be out of control! With food sensitivities, where your decisions have a direct impact on how you feel physically and mentally, your body starts to tell you what it likes and dislikes. And no one wants an unhappy body! We're not walking around praying for heartburn or explosive diarrhea. The motivation to do the right thing for you comes from inside instead of voices outside - and that WILL ultimately serve you better! Even better than "self-discipline"!
You and your healing journey are different from anyone else's. Don't be ashamed of where you are or where you've come from.
Sixty-second Self-care Tip…
Letting go of the rules, let's have a little fun today!
What is the one food item you absolutely enjoy, and you know it will not trigger your food sensitivity symptoms?
Is there something that you love but you don't eat because of some other food-rule out there? Maybe it has sugar or maybe it's a piece of ripe fruit (which evidently can be very bad in some circles!). Maybe it's too many carbs or the wrong kind of carbs.
I encourage you to find whatever that thing is and simply sit and enjoy it. Create for yourself a shame-free, guilt-free space where you can take care of you and enjoy that special something.
For me, it's going to be dark chocolate. I used to buy it sparingly and just have little bits. Now I literally buy it in a 3-lb bag and have a few bites a couple times a day. But I did have to find a product that didn't trigger any of my food sensitivities. Now, it's one of my best friends!!
If you're willing to share, post in the comments your special shame-free food or drink so we can all enjoy it!
And if you want more of this kind of approach to food, health and food sensitivities, along with a lot of support figuring out your puzzle, join the Food Sensitivity Code waitlist. I promise it's coming soon!